Hallelujah I Love Her So

Disclaimer: Title, part of the plot and some of the lines are from the song ‘Hallelujah I Love Him/Her So’ by Ray Charles. CSI and CSI characters belong to CBS et al. The actual story and the idea behind it are mine. However, I’m not going to copyright any part of the story or make any money from it.

PART 3
The bar is quiet as usual. Nancy won’t get rich working here. I’ve just come off shift and I am in need of a chat with my sis. Her shift starts at nine but she always gets here early. I kill the time until her arrival by doodling on a coaster.

Jerry puts a coffee in front of me. ‘What’s with you girls? Doodling on coasters the new hip thing to do?’

I grin up at him. ‘You have more doodlers here?’

‘Well usually never, people either talk or stare morosely out the window, but two, three weeks ago we had a quiet girl, kinda pretty, but too shy, you know?’

I nod. This could be you; I know you’ve been here once.

‘She was one serious doodler,’ he grins at me, ‘hardly stopped long enough to drink her beer.’

‘Well, I’m just waiting for Nance. I’m not turning into a serious doodler,’ I grin back at him.

‘Nah, you’re too social for that,’ he says before turning away from me and walking off.

When I get my second cup, Nancy walks in. Spotting me immediately, she walks over and gives me a hug. ‘Wondered when I’d see you here,’ she tells me softly. ‘Hey Jerry, how old is that tea?’

‘Too old for your sensitive taste buds.’

‘Pour me an orange juice?’ With her glass in hand, she directs me away from the bar and to a quiet corner. ‘I have hardly seen you for over a week. Want to tell me about it?’ She asks when we’ve sat down.

‘I was just wondering about a meeting you had? About two, three weeks ago?’ I neatly circumvent her question for now.

‘Ah, the brunette.’ Nancy smirks a little. ‘That’s what I figured.’

‘Yes, the brunette. Tell me about it?’

‘Why, what happened?’

I’m beginning to get irritated. At this rate, I’ll still be here when my shift starts. ‘Come on sis, what did you tell her?’

She looks at me, trying to gauge my mood probably. ‘Not much actually. She was already here when I came in, completely focused-’

‘Yes, doodling on a coaster, I know,’ I interrupt her. I’m about to urge her to get to the point, when she continues.

‘Oh no, it was much more than doodling.’ She stands up, ‘hang on.’ And she’s off, slipping behind the bar and into the backroom. When she returns, she has a coaster in her hand. She has your coaster. I didn’t know that.

I reach out to take it from her as she sits down, but she holds it out of my reach. ‘She left it here and I don’t know if she would want you to see it…’

I nod and she allows me to take it from her. The drawings are exquisite. I can easily recognize myself. I can only imagine what kind of mood you were in when you did these. After a while, I notice the silence from the other side of the table and realize I’ve been lost in thought. Nancy is looking at me looking at the picture.

‘What’s happened?’ she asks quietly.

‘I don’t know.’ I can’t stop looking at the drawings of me. ‘I don’t know.’ My eyes tear up and tension freezes my jaw, slowly moving it I manage to repeat again: ‘I don’t know.’

‘Just tell me what happened. The first thing that happened.’ Her voice is soft without sounding belittling. She’s always had this amazing ability to get people to open up, trust her. I’ve often wanted to be her; she always attracts people who don’t stab her in the back, betray her, and cheat her.

‘She… just…’ I’m trying to find a way to describe what happened, but it is not actually that easy. ‘She just came over one time… and we fought. God. I don’t know, but she wouldn’t leave.’ My mouth opens but I can’t say it.

Nancy’s face has softened; she looks at me as she waits patiently.

‘She’s been at my place a lot, she’s with Lindsay right now, probably already brought her to school…’

‘WOW,’ Nancy looks a little amazed and pleased.

But I can’t help the uncomfortable feeling, the itch low in my body causing me to shift and squirm in my seat. ‘I don’t know, I just… I can’t, I don’t, I, I…’

She puts her hand close to mine on the table, just barely touching it. ‘Sissy,’ she waits until I look up, ‘Cath, you once told me you just wanted someone exciting and trustworthy, and was that too much to ask.’

I look at her intently, hoping she has an answer for me.

‘Sounds to me as though you’re getting plenty excitement and she seems very trustworthy,’ she waits a beat as her words sink in, waiting to see if I’m going to refute her. When I don’t she continues. ‘So, the question is: Are you happy when you’re with her? Do you want to dress up for her? Burry your face in her neck? Have her fingers deep inside you?’

My jaw drops at her last words, but the shock value isn’t so big I forget her questions.

‘To how many is the answer yes?’

I blush, but answer clearly. ‘To all.’

‘Then what don’t you know, Catherine? If she loves you?’

I think about that. She hasn’t said the words. ‘She brings me coffee every time she pours one for herself, in a cup without an ear because she knows I prefer it.’ Nancy signals to Jerry for refills for both of us, but doesn’t say anything, just returns to listening to me. ‘When I call her, tell her I’m home alone, she’s at the front door before I can even finish changing clothes.’

I wait ‘til Jerry has put our drinks down and use the time to gather my thoughts. ‘I think she might,’ I finally answer when he’s gone. ‘She listens to me, is really interested in me, and loves to spend time with Lindsay. She backs me up and fights with me…’ I fall silent as I shift through the memories of the last week and a half. It feels as though it’s been a lot longer than that already.

‘I asked her if she loves you,’ Nancy reveals.

My head snaps up from my study of brown swirling liquid, waiting for her to go on I hold perfectly still.

‘She didn’t answer in words, but that was the worst blush I’ve ever seen.’

Her grin is a little infectious and I can’t suppress it, not to mention the glow that’s starting in my chest. ‘And?’ I say, hoping for more.

‘I told her if she thought you were worth it, if she had the guts, to let you turn her down.’

Chewing that over I sit back in my chair. Apparently, you did have the guts. Apparently, you did think I was worth it. Goose bumps break out all over my body at that thought. The glow in my chest erupts and floods my veins, heating my skin to the point where I actually can feel myself start to sweat. I look up at Nancy and I don’t know what kind of look I have on my face, but she’s grinning at me like mad.

She stands up, grabs her stuff and leans over to give me another hug. ‘Hey babe, my shift started five minutes ago.’ She presses a kiss to my cheek. ‘Take your time to kick start your brain and then get off that scared ass of yours and do something about that sweet girl waiting for you at home.’

I get up to pull her close for a second. ‘Love you.’

‘Tell her that,’ she grins cheekily before slipping behind the bar.

Sitting back down, I notice Nancy has left your coaster lying on the table. I pick it up again, trace the lines with my fingers. Another chill runs down my spine and suddenly I need to hear you. Right now. I put my coat on and sling my bag over my shoulder. The coaster I hold in my hand, close to my stomach. Within seconds, I’m outside and in the privacy of my car. Grabbing my phone, I call you.

You pick up on the third ring. God, it feels good to hear your voice so close to me. ‘Are you still at my place? … Stay. Please? I’ll be right home … And Sara…’ I don’t know how far I should go, how much to reveal over the phone right now. ‘Sara? Love you babe, see you in a bit.’

Lyrics to Hallelujah I Love Her So

THE END